My novels

Tuesday 6 May 2014

Unwritten Rules: Chapter 3

Bright Okopi stood outside Doyle Energies. As usual he was out looking for a job as an engineer with a pay of N 350 000. He had arrived at the company at 6.30 pm in a bid to impress his would-be employers. He sat at the security post as he waited for the start of work.
Okoro and Alice, two security personnel on duty were kind enough to let him sit out the rain at the security post before the employees resumed.
"Fashola no dey try" said Okoro. "Why would he take food out of people's mouth?"
"He has a dream for Lagos," said Bright smartly spouting all that Babatunde Raji Fashola, the current governor of Lagos State had said.
"You don't understand," said Okoro "I think he is overdoing it. He drove the people selling recharge card home"
"...and when they could no longer sustain themselves he deported them back to their villages via luxurious buses" Alice laughed as she adjusted her cap on her head.
"How did I end up in Lagos?" asked Okoro.
Bright looked at him curiously, "What happened to you?"
"I didn't have money to finish my academics and so I came to Lagos to sell 'Okrika' at Yaba market"
"I hear it's a lucrative business"
"It was" Okoro answered Bright "...that was until Fashola's boys levelled my shop when they were changing the face of Yaba market".
"Hmmm" Alice smiled indignantly
"When I got stuck, and I wasn't able to pay my bills. I had to secure this job as a security man so I can pay my bills"
"Do you have plans of completing your education?"
"How?" Okoro asked. "The school fees keep rising and the numbers of people who can't hold on and drop out of college keep increasing"
"Let me tell you what happened in this Victoria Island" he continues without waiting for Bright to answer. "A food seller was constantly been harassed week after week by KAI".
"But they are doing their job, they have to, there are no sentiments when you are doing your job" Bright answered assuredly
"That is what I thought too. They struck every week threatening her not to sell there again". He paused dramatically "...but instead of throwing the food away, they carted the pot of stew with assorted meat that is associated with local food sellers".
"So...there is nothing she can do" Bright sighed.
"Everyone pitied her but no one could do anything. One day she had the food poisoned and placed them on her sales table and kept some under the table for her customers. After the KAI officers had eaten her food, they dropped dead one by one".
"What?" Bright screamed as he shot of his seat.
He wanted to yell 'that is murder' but he remembered where he was. The two security officers obviously saw it as karma.
"When the other KAI officers turned up and tried to arrest her, the residents gathered and fought to save her".
"Wow" It was difficult to know where to stand in an issue like this, thank God he wasn't a lawyer. He continued with small talk but tried to stay off the gory stories as he awaited his interview hopefully.
***
Gbolahan Dada sat on his seat Sunday evening and watched the Presidential chat. As the president promised to do everything, as long as the parents of the Chibok children cooperate with the Federal Government in helping find their girls.
"This is what he should have done a long time ago"
Bimbo's soft-spoken voice broke into his thoughts. They had not spoken for weeks.
She hadn't been talking to him for weeks. He hid behind his silence because he suspected that his wife had discovered one of the letters from his mistress.
"His advisers are doing as much as they are qualified to do"
"It must be difficult to think when you are being bombarded from all sides by angry Nigerians" cut in his 14-year-old princess, Toke.
She was growing up so fast and a replica of her gorgeous mom.
"You are so smart, I think I must be doing something right" He laughed out loud then spoke to Toke "Get my ipad from the room, darling"
"It is here with me, Dad"
He stood and saw Toke dangling her legs in the air. She was lying behind the sofa on the rug clad floor and tapping unendingly on his iPad.
"Did you finish charging your daddy's iPad" Her mom jutted in
"Yes mom" She shrugged her shoulders, stood up and held out the iPad to her father. "Here dad, take it".
She got up and headed for the stairs. "I am headed for my room, you two love-birds can stay up late" she yawned and continued upstairs.
"Hmmm" he smiled into his wife's eyes for the first time in weeks "Toke is growing up too fast for my liking"
"Uh huh" Bimbo said noncommittally. "In a year she will be in her final year and off to the university, she's not as young as you see her anymore".
Bimbo was wearing a navy blue bum shorts and an old T-shirt with her hair done in a weave. Gbolahan was in his customary white dashiki
"I got you something from the presidents' daughter's wedding" he reached into his laptop bag and pulled out the gold plated iPhone.
"Thank you dear" she whispered the endearment she used for everyone.
Gone were the days when she used his special endearment. He remembered the early days of marriage and wondered why women had to hold on to every wrong like a pillow. It was killing the intimacy in their marriage or had succeeded in killing the joy of their marriage and he was trying but had no idea of how to bring back those early days.
"That all?"
"Do you want more?" she enquired. "I am thankful that you had me on your mind during your trip" she shrugged and got up with the package.
He shrugged, opened his laptop and began working on it absentmindedly "I will join you shortly," he shouted after her.
That was a lie. He did not intend to leave his laptop until 2 am when he must have exhausted all the solutions that had come to him. His wife could take care of herself.
Once she had accused him of feeling guilty and instead of apologising, he pulled away. Maybe true. Maybe not. He had lost his enthusiasm for this marriage. No one was trying. He did not feel like trying.
Maybe he should sext with Maryram, the airhostess on the Arik Air flight from PH to Lagos who was fascinated with his white hairs. He smiled as he picked up his HTC phone.
****
Tanya Whitehall was involved in the strikes that were holding. The whole saga of the #BringBackOurGirls wasn't flying over her head like other youth her age. She and her cousin's wife ran an NGO that had as one of its concerns righting the injustice against the female child. This seemed like a perfect opportunity to highlight the good; that her charity organization was doing.
She had collaborated with other groups to bring the ##Chibok girls back home to us. The dress code was a red t-shirt
"Ughrr" she muttered as she felt the discomfort that accompanies high heels.
She had a field day with every one of the women in politics and business who were her personal heroes standing in front of the State House in Ikeja in a field insisting that the president do something about the Chibok girls. It has been over two weeks and no progress has been reported. It took all of the will power she had not to take selfies with each one of them and post on Facebook.
"Tanya, focus on the main thing now, you need to project professional"
She took professional pictures to post on Facebook, and to use as a portfolio to create a newsletter that got to the heart of the everyday busy individual.
"Thank you so much"
She grinned a popular pastor's wife in Ikeja. Some people were so humble. She prayed she was still humble when she became famous.
She read her last tweet and signed off twitter.
As usual, the media was ablaze with righteous indignation of the youths, at the government and the missing young ladies and how this couldn't happened in America without a retaliation.
Silver bird TV just concluded their report on the girls. Tanya switched off the TV as the news ended. She noticed that while the NTA showed how the president had yesterday visited the secondary schools. The Silver bird TV dwelt on the parents and how they were devastated that their children were in custody of the dreaded Boko Haram men.
"Do you know some silly people are actually saying that no #Chibok girls went missing? They are saying its a scam, read this". Christabel said as she thrust her phone under Tanya's nose.
"The must be frrom another planet. Why would someone invent something like that? Tanya sniffed as she read the tweets
"Can you believe it?" Christabel huffed in righteous indignation
"I don't think we should waste our time/emotions on trivial things, the Chibok girls need us now"
How insensitive could one get? She was going to wait and see for herself because in this country, anything was possible.
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

Wednesday 30 April 2014

Unwritten Rules: Chapter 2

"Gbolahan, its good being with you, my friend", murmured Alhaji, in his soft spoken Hausa accented English.

No one could rival Alhaji Musa in hospitality, his integrity was second to none when it came to business matters. Alhaji Musa had flown into Port Harcourt accompanied by Gbolahan in his private jet They sat down and discussed while the daughter of the president was busy sitting with her newly wedded husband, smiling happily for all to see.

Three musicians had been hired to play at her wedding; Flavor, Banky W and on other musician. He held his 24 carat gold customized iPhones and smiled at the no expense spared gifts distribution galore. He made a mental note to present the gift to his adorable wife as soon as he returned from his trip. As he kept his package, he silently mused on what he would give his 14 year old daughter Toke from the list of gifts. She had called, screaming blue murder that he hadn't allowed her to attend such a prestigious event with him, and perhaps meet some eligible bachelors. He laughed at that but made a mental note not to take her to any events like this till she was 21.

"Great event, ba" laughed Alhaji with some other business men.

Gbolahan Dada followed his cue and laughed aloud also. His eyes followed Alhaji's eyes all over the room.

Alhaji turned to him, "After the wedding there's an after party with a few of Mr. President's close friends" he whispered. "We are invited. That's where I will make the introductions"

"Okay Alhaji" Gbolahan spoke discreetly

"Till then we enjoy this sophisticated wedding and think of the time we will soon have to throw weddings for our daughters, no?"

"Certainly" Gbolahan smiled, happy at the way everything was going.

*****

Bright Okopi laughed out loud as he moved the groundnut seeds around the sparse Ijebu garri in his metal white and brown plate that was popular in the 60s. He was sitting in a seedy apartment with one of his friends in the backwaters of Ebute Metta.

The ice water voice of Lanre Ogunlana could be heard as he described crudely how he slept with one of his latest girlfriends with the five guys surrounding him.

Bright just quietly looked and kept eating his groundnuts. His mind kept ruminating on his pastors word.

"You are made in the image and likeness of God, you are made to rule this earth".

He kept thinking of it over and over again as Lanre kept on with another one of his escapades. He laughed to himself as he recalled his pastor counseling him, that such young men as Lanre would amount to nothing worth much because God has created sex to be used in the context of marriage.

"Wetin dey make this one laugh?" Lanre interrupted his reverie.

Bright Okopi just poured a bottle of 50cl healthmax water in his drying garri "Nothing, my brother. Just thinking about my life"

"You should now, I no dey see any girl around you, hunger no dey draw lagos girl..."

"So as you see me so, na hunger you dey see..." Okopi exploded angry. "Na because you no get vision now"

"Me I no get vision?" Lanre springs up in a yoruba man's stance to fight.

Bright remains on the floor, "All those women wey you dey carry don block your vision" he laughs coolly.

You don see those 'Ojuju' movie reviews, your wowo resemble the one of that actor wey him girlfriend get belle" Lanre is being vindictive.

"Yes, you're very ugly and just as poor, na Ajegunle they dey live sef, you sef, na ajegunle you dey live".

"I hear you" Bright says smiling. "I may live in Ajegunle but I'm rich. I have access to the greatest resource owner on earth"

"Wale, this your boy dey craze! See hin shoe and hin trouser, as e dey and he dey talk say e rich"

"No mind am, hin don join those people wey dey carry Jesus for head"

Lanre collapses in laughter. I think say you don tire for poverty. "Why you just dey tie your head inside wahala?"

Bright resumes the drinking of his garri. He's still upset but at least, he was able to say he was rich. His pastor says 'You will have what you say" well baba God, I don dey talk am, what next?'

Somewhere inside him he felt at peace, the turmoil he had been feeling over his life just kept dissolving. If it was just the peace, following Jesus was worth it. His pastor though, said wealth was one of the blessings he needed to enter into.

*****

Tanya rubbed her eyes in front of a computer screen, trying to sleep but finding none. As usual she declined opportunities to go out for a meal. The life of an entrepreneur didn't have much free time. She went through the news online and the info she kept getting about the 234 girls missing was distressing. Was BH being funny? Nigeria's zip code was 234, the number of girls kidnapped from the terrorist occupied state Bauchi was also 234. She laughed out loud at what Nigeria was doing about it. Nothing!

This country needed her. Christabel her best friend, had started a school where they taught JAMB and SSCE students how to pass their exams. She just opened two new branches and was out looking for managers who could manage the students and teachers. Trustworthy people were difficult to find, recruitment was always a headache because when you hired the wrong person, it meant that your monies would be embezzled.

A call came in on her Blackberry. She slipped her earphone in her ear and responded.

"Christabel, you no dey sleep"

She listened in rapt attention for some minutes.

"Hmmm, I think I will have to attend to that in the morning.......yeah, I need to be in school" she laughs, then jokes "How is your husband? My cousin who doesn't remember the one who gave him a wife".

She listens again, then "Okay, I'll have dinner with you tomorrow night and no, it should not be an excuse to arrange a blind date for me"

"Take care of the twins and goodnight"

*****

Saturday 26 April 2014

Unwritten Rules: Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Tanya Whitehall walked up the stairs of the science faculty of the University of Lagos. As she walked upstairs, she greeted each lecturer she saw. The particular lecturer she was looking for, prof Adedeji, told her he was in his office when she called an hour earlier. He was to be her project supervisor for the 9 month PGD programme she was running. She was clad in an orange-white flowery top and black pants with flat shoes.

"Good morning, ma" she greeted the light skinned faculty office secretary.

She had some wrinkle lines at the edges of her eyes and her mouth. You could call her attractive, in a manner of speaking.

"Good morning my dear" she answered the greeting but didn't make eye contact.

Tanya continued. She wasn't taken aback, because it was standard protocol in the reality of Unilag. The students weren't important unless there was some form of exchange going on. Schooling in a Yoruba speaking state, that exchange would be called 'egunje'.

It oiled the wheels of progress when you couldn't summon the time and persistent you would have to commit so that the regular office duties would be done. Her friend doing a masters in another department actually commended Science Faculty for being better than other department. She just snorted in her head at that.

"Ma, I am looking for prof Adedeji..."

"You have to call him" she looked at her for the first time from horn rimmed glasses. "He rushed out of here 30 minutes ago to meet up with another appointment".

"Ok ma" she answered and turned around.

In Unilag, it was customary to wait for hours on end for lecturers. If you didn't wait, you were termed unserious.

"Can I wait here for him?"

She snorted in response. Tanya took that as a yes. She sat down and brought out her blackberry phone to update her twitter status with 'a long wait ahead of me' then started browsing through Facebook. When her phone started hanging, she dropped it and began day-dreaming about the Nokia XI with amazing camera properties, that wouldn't hang and had the BBM advantage.

She adjusted her feet, crossed and uncrossed her legs, then adjusted till she was comfortable enough for the long wait.

******

Bright Okopi was one of those guys from the south-south with barely there dreams. The only important thing about the dream was that it still got him up at 5am, up and about and hustling. He graduated from the university 3 years ago and was yet to get a stable job. Being an engineer should mean something, least that is what he believed when he wrote JAMB 5 times before finally being admitted into UNIBEN to study engineering. He was the envy of many, all through school because he always aced his courses. And when he couldn't, because of some really terrible lecturers, being a class rep worked wonders for him. He finished with a 2 1'.

Where was the envy now?

He was coming back from another failed interview. Just remaining the disdainful look on the face of the HR told him he hadn't made it into that engineering firm. Too many creme boys with letter from mommy/daddy/uncle. He almost cursed his parents for being poor. Only the memory of his pastor telling how important the law of honour was stopped him.

"I no wan add curse to the one wey I already dey"

He muttered under his breathe as he adjusted and grimaced, all kinds of smells reaching his nose from the people and his environment in the rickety bus headed for Ajegunle. He lived at No. 14 Gbegiri street Ajegunle with his parents, two siblings and two cousins. They were 'managing'.

He hated the word 'managing' but his circumstances and looks and environment spoke of deep poverty. The people were ugly inside and out and dressed it, looked it, embraced it. They even insulted themselves early in the morning at 6am, at noon, at 6pm and at midnight.

They probably saw nothing wrong with poverty. His pastor said, 'to conquer poverty, you must hate poverty, not the people but the thinking'.

Poverty is a thinking!

By the word you must rise out of it. He heard the pastor's voice in his head.

He had only been attending the church for 6 months but having a mentor who believed in him was refreshing. He heard his pastor's voice in his head say, 'Christ has redeemed you from the curse of the law, don't let your environment defeat you. Speak God's mind, say 'I am rich'.

He didn't know how much he believed his pastor or if he believed him at all. He knew that if he made a mistake of screaming 'I am rich', all the contrary people around him would laugh till they cried because their environment was screaming poverty, just not with words.

He wanted to but he couldn't, not yet.

He bowed his head down and muttered "I am rich". A dark skinned lady with bright purple eye shadow and bright red lipstick asked him, "what did you say?"

He turned and looked out the window saying nothing. The streets of Lagos passed before his unseeing eyes.

******

Mr Gbolahan Dada sat at his table, reading through 2.0 lenses at the paperwork on his desk. He dropped into the office and would be leaving in another 3 hours. He needed to sign some papers before leaving for Abuja on the 2pm flight. His driver informed him that they would have to leave for 10.30 if they wanted to make the flight. He glanced through, signed the papers and called his p.a to tidy up his desk.

As he walked to his champagne coloured Range Rover Sport. He climbed in and made two calls, one to his wife and the second to his mistress.

He didn't call mama much these days, his eyes never could meet hers. Her eyes could read deep into his soul. Even though she never spoke a word, he felt judged by those piercing clear sincere eyes.

In the world he now lived in, sincerity was a liability and not an asset.

He shrugged off the bothersome thoughts and comforted himself with the words. 'Everyone is doing worse these days'.

He remembered Alhaji Sambo who he did business with, the man just took a fourth wife, a 12 year old. No one as much as batted an eyelid when they saw it. They assuaged their consciences with the lie that 'his customs allow it, let's live and let live'.

He wished for simpler days when all he had to worry about was if he remembered to spend time with His God?

He shrugged and caught some shut-eye before the next meeting to fulfill his goal of success. He stretched out his white 'dashiki' clad body and stretched to catch some sleep in the popular Lagos traffic. Bako would wake him up as soon as he got to the VIP lounge of the Lagos airport.

Friday 9 March 2012

When my bf (best friend) got married, 3 years ago...

I wrote this on my blog www.extraordinarilygood.blogspot.com but my bff read this in dec and she cried and she laughed and i read it a couple of days after and i cried and laughed and cried again, it was awesome.

To cut a long story short, we are on each others bbs and i have gotten rid of my frenemies, one does not need too much friends, just real ones

MY BF (BEST FRIEND) IS GETTING MARRIED...

I am excited; my best friend is getting married. We have been through so much together; we were in secondary school and university together. She got me through some of the toughest times i ever went through and because of her, i had most of the best laughs i had in school.
Why did i appreciate her? She made me laugh. Of all my friends, she is the one i loved most. Why? Cos she always made me laugh, she could always make me laugh, i remember when she laughed about some guys glasses steaming and making him look cute. I just could not get it and she laughed at my toes when they curled because i was embarrassed. She was the sunshine in our day every day. I could say that we spent all our days laughing but that would be a lie.
I remember the days we stood on bursary line to receive our bursary. The days we ate akara and garri with Gladys and ate TFC with nneoma, then ate my concoction rice with kehinde in A201. Do you remember Tender A104, the chic who jazzed our boyf and how they disturbed us on the day of ZLY exam? We used to hang around school with dele, ballz and Bruce. How chika, olive, and uche were your roommates and i wondered why i was not in your room but we would probably have fought so it is good we were next-door neighbours so i kinda had two rooms. Lol!
Do you remember when we had vals in yr 3 and went to Biggs to eat out. It was fun sha but i did not enjoy it so much. I appreciate those days so much now whether they were interesting or not. Yewande just got married a few months ago and her wedding was fun exactly the way i know yours will be. I am so sorry i could not make it to your house that Sunday but i will be at your wedding. Nothing on earth can keep me away.
There was the time she was hurt cos i went with my big mouth and told her everything i heard about her b.f then and she thought i was interested in her b.f. It was a Friday and loyal me, i cried and told her i was not interested in her b.f. i was so angry she would even think so and i cried and ran home that day but i loved her still. When I came back on Monday, we were friends again. So we had our misunderstandings and our weekends in Sheraton.
I remember our weekends at Sheraton, blissful. Everyone always said i was too introverted right, well apart from Joy, i think i told her the most i have ever told anyone about me except for my ex who knew a little more. Every potential b.f went through her screening. She always told me if they were good enough or if i was not to waste my time on this one. The phrase i remember her the most for was “not good enuf”. It is not like we saw each other every day but when we saw each other, it was like we were never apart. I love my friend and i am trying to say that while you were part of my life you blessed me.
I want to say that as you step into married life, God steps in with you and the seeds you have sown will indeed bear fruit for you in Jesus name. As a friend, you were a rock, not just to me but to everyone you came across and i know you will make a wonderful bride and be a wonderful wife to the man God has gifted you with.
Happy Married Life “my bestie”. Olubunmi Ordia. (Last time i will call you Ordia, imagine! Little bunmi is getting married, i miss you and i love you and i wish you all the best Life and God has to offer you. Nothing ever separates us from His love, remember that. ) Love you loads!